Upside down world

Its not words you imagine you are going to hear at 20 weeks pregnant. That you have cancer and that while they know it is there growing in your chest they can't exactly tell you what it is and you might not be able to continue with  your pregnancy.

It turned my world upside down - those first initial few weeks when I found out I had a rare form of cancer growing in my chest - a Germ Cell Tumor they called it.

After some discussion I was allowed to go forward with my pregnancy and although initially my baby was meant to be born at 28 weeks we pushed for an extra two and got to the vital 30 weeks where I knew my babies lungs would be better developed to cope with his early entry into the outside world.

So it was on May 10, 2005 that my cancer 'journey' would officially begin. Our son Jude was born by c-section that morning so tiny but so strong.  I got to hold him in the operating theatre for longer than expected and then he was taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care unit to be tubed up and put on breathing apparatus to help his little body cope.

I was exhilarated and relieved but that evening would begin possibly the most emotional and toughest week of my life. I not only had initial post birthing complications but also had to undergo my first official scan where the dyes could be used to outline the tumour, its size and exact location in my chest.

The result were not good as it was wrapped around my major arteries and close to my heart - at the time I always thought that having a tumor removed was the best treatment option - that this foreign growth would be removed from me and I would be well again.

A few days later I had my heart checked as they were going to go ahead with Chemotherapy, which I had hoped I would not need. It was at this appointment that I broke down and cried like I have never cried before - the sorrow and anger I felt was overwhelming as was the fact I was expressing milk and trying to recover from a caesarean - All in all not a very pleasant day!

So after 8 days in hospital it all ended again in tears as we left without our little boy Jude - who had to stay until around his due date of July and it was for him that I had to stay strong.

He had come early so I could get better and I owed that to him.

SO it was with this determination that exactly two weeks after giving birth I started chemotherapy some of you may know that it can be one of the most crappy things you hope you never have to experience!

Welcome

After years of procrastinating I have finally done it and created a blog - so please if you choose to follow forgive the mistakes, blanks spaces and layout until this all becomes clearer to me!

My name is Mel and at 31 years of age and 20 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with cancer. What was most difficult for me to deal with during my treatment and the subsequent 5 years following was the total lack of information and support for women and men in my situation - That being supporting a young family and relationship while undergoing cancer treatment and the additional stresses this bought to your treatement and recovery.

For me I felt totally alone and found that recommended books did not relate to me or my situation due to them being written by people who were often retired with grown families and living in comfortable financial situations.

So this is where my dream begins with this blog to connect with others like me, to provide support to others like me and one-day to write a book for others like me and for those yet to come - I welcome you all.